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Women’s Stuff (Coisas de mulher, Portugese): Menstrual Metaphors in the time of Pandemic

Feminist ranting over the phone goes – ‘you know we were talking, this Corona thing feels like one is waiting for the periods. When will it come? Sometimes I think, let it come and let’s be over and done with it.’ And we end up laughing at both Corona and our dwindling pre-menopausal periods.  It has been a long period of waiting for periods. Most often it came and sometimes it did not. Such has life been for many of us.

It is amusing that as women we could draw metaphors for these extraordinary times from something most take as an ordinary part of life. Personally speaking, when you have bled for 5 days for almost every month, leaving out the wanted and unwanted pregnancies, for about 30 years of your life, it feels like bleeding through your vagina is as normal breathing through your nose. The only difference was that you did not wear a pad to soak in what comes out of your nose. Even that has been taken care of by now. Is it any wonder that menstruation metaphors decorate our everyday conversations amok? 

Talking about metaphors, have you heard the one that says – like an elephantess in pms? Well that seems to be the one most applicable to mine and many feminists I know these days. I wake up in the morning in a bad mood. Nothing seems to be in the right place. I sit by the window with my morning glass of water and wonder - am I coming down again? Then I remember the images of people walking, crowds jostling for food packages, torn feet and check my calendar again. It is not my pms. What else could I be if not pissed off at this disaster and disgrace that this very-clever-oh-so-developed-super-high-tech system led by men have landed us in. Oh what a situation!  It is worse than that time when I decided not to tell my family about the red army marching between my thighs and accompanied them to some religious place. I thought I had it all planned, no one will know. But at the place there was so much jostling, a lot like the crowd waiting for buses to get back home, that my ill-fitting pad must have shifted. And it started to show. A lady was looking at me strange. One look at her face and I knew what had happened. Women have these extra-normal powers you see. I tried to look at my behind inconspicuously like I am looking at the interesting crowd behind me. And anyone who has a behind will know how impossible it is to do that in public. Almost as impossible as our great inefficient leaders trying to pretend the country has not been pushed into a grave economic crisis by unplanned actions and planned greed.

Talking about pads, why is it that with all this technology bombarding my social media spaces with meeting, webinars, discussions, trainings and what not, people discussing the future of work, schools, healthcare and mankind, and women do not even have a reliable sustainable safe solution to soak in about 20 ml blood? Each year thousands of adolescent girls and women suffer from diseases caused by unclean menstrual padding. We just heard a report from an organization based in Delhi that 30 of their young women from the community have developed infection due to bad quality of pads. Now let’s go through this once more – a country which cannot provide enough cotton to soak in 20 ml blood is declaring a 2000000000000000 (I have not counted the Zeros) rupees economic package? And not one rupee from this to provide sexual and reproductive health support to women. In a study we conducted with 200 women respondent from Assam, the most reported healthcare concern during the lockdown period is not being able to access doctors and go to healthcare facilities during pregnancy and for child birth. Nah, this bloody system is failing. And we are bleeding, on the rag as they say. And I am certain because it is being led by people who do not bleed. If women were in charge, the first thing they would have done is grab the scientists by the ear and ask them to make truly something that will soak in the red sea while we take care of the world.

For clarification, the moon cup is a much better option but costs around 6-9 hundred rupees.  This government can’t even pay Rs.500 per person per month for 6 months to the poor to recover from the economic crisis. Who can pay 600 rupees to a woman to bleed clean? And there is that concern about putting it in. Women and their mothers alike are concerned about the fact that the cup has to be put in. As if humanity can exist without putting it in.  I mean for pleasure or for production, the pum is designed to put things in. Many women have smuggled gold, diamond and drugs, depending on what is most important to her, in it. Many heterosexual women regularly put in these things that come attached of the rest of the male body. And you are worried about putting in a flexible silicon cup? Stop worrying about virginity. The thing does not exist. As long as it is consensual stick it in if you want to.

The feminists have also been grumbling about what the pandemic has brought to us at home and to our bodies. A recent advertisement got the worst of our crankiness for saying that the maid is bringing in the infection and hence we should now buy their bread maker. I loved the attack back. I am certain many of us were pmsing or menopausal. I would say, we all know even if we buy the bread maker (not from Kent), it will be the maid or me putting the maida and water in it. Household work burden has increased for women during this time as the men stay at home and demanding or getting served chai-pakora, idly-sambar, roti-sabji, caramel pudding and as my social media feed informs many rounds of rasgullas. A domestic worker helps ease some of this burden of the middleclass women without forgetting the fact that her own household work burden has increased too. 90% of domestic workers in Assam reported they have lost their jobs. 75% have not been paid salaries for the lockdown period. Domestic workers are mostly the primary earners of their families. If you think a bread maker can replace all of this, go ahead and buy one. Hope the men in the house will switch in on when you rest during your strawberry season.

Like usual this pandemic is riding over women’s bodies. Along with increased work burden, the blow of the decreased work burden for men is being absorbed by the women’s bodies. Domestic violence, abuse and fights have increased. The police response has gone down just like our regular holidays in the pre-menopausal phase. Exactly like the pre-menopause periods, women call the police and wait – not knowing when and whether they will respond this time. When called the police say ‘we are busy doing Corona duty’. Corona seems to be the more favoured peak-reproductive body which gets regular visits from our friends while the over-the-hill ones like us wait pissed off for no reason.  

Women are putting their bodies in the front lines of the pandemic too. Look at our ASHA and Anganwadi workers. Visiting house to house through pouring rain and scorching sun. Asking people if they have a cold, fever or diarrhea. The one who came to my house was so exhausted I had to ask her to come in and sit down. She refused citing social distancing regulations. I offered tea and she said she has oxubidha (the troubles). Knowing this system, I ask her for details - have you been given masks and sanitisers? Are you checking your own health? Have you received training and instruction on how to deal with cases? ‘Of course not’ - she confirms. A bottle of sanitiser and one disposable mask is what she got. But she tells me these are not the troubles she was talking about. She has the troubles. Oh, I say, and do you need something for that? A pad? She said she has been broke since the lockdown because she lives alone and rents out a room to a small family. The 3000 rupees she gets as her payment does not cover her living costs. Now during the lockdown, her tenants have not been able to pay rent. She has so little money that she has not bought a soap to wash her period cloths.

I feel so angry that I really want something to hit me. My periods or the virus. Despite the regular bleeding, feminists have been putting together evidence and solutions for this crisis. It involves truly looking at things newly, investing in care work, focusing on families and communities, redistributing power and wealth and switching to sustainable practice. If any of this gets listened to, maybe we will be saved.

Till then let me go have a bloody marry (the real one and hopefully the metaphor too). 

List of period metaphors used:
·       Women’s Stuff (Coisas de mulher, Portugese)
·       Elephantess in pms (common feminist parlance, origin not known)
·       red army (German and Russian)
·       bloody (cfp, origin not known)
·       on the rag (English)
·       red sea (Italian)
·       grumbling (French)
·       Crankiness
·       strawberry season
·       regular holidays (Chinese)
·       friends (quite a few languages)
·       the troubles (Assamese)
·       bloody marry (English)
Source: Internet

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